Man, this last week and a half has flown by! I went home a couple Thursdays ago. I led worship at church that Sunday. The next full week was dedicated to helping mom out around the house. Monday I did random errands...Tuesday we worked in the yard all day...Wednesday I cleaned the house...Thursday we went to Springfield for the day to see Laura's play. Then the weekend rolled around...
This weekend we had D-Now at our church. It's like a weekend retreat/huge worship weekend for the youth group. Everyone is split up into groups of 4-8 people and goes to host homes. There they are led by college students and go through a curriculum based on the theme for the weekend. This year's theme was "Revealed." Aaron Rodgers was the guest speaker. The Dave Hassell Band led worship. These guys were amazing. Aaron did an excellent job telling ridiculous stories and making everyone laugh while at the same time being able to tie these stories into the message he wanted to bring that night.
I had the priviledge of leading half of the 9th grade girls along with my friend Melanie. We stayed at my house. These girls were awesome. There were some crazy moments, but they knew when to calm it down and focus on the important issues. Oh and if you're looking for any pics from the weekend, don't worry. One of my girls took 500 photos...500 photos in 2 days!
Anyways, I have a confession to make. I hate crying in public. I cannot stand it. I avoid it at all costs. When I cry my eyes get all red, my face gets all blotchy, and I snot everywhere. It's not a pretty sight, and I try my darndest not to let other people see me cry. But alas, I was very unsuccessful this weekend. Saturday night's worship hit me hard. I was completely broken. It was a combination of things...I hadn't experienced a good, deep, meaningful worship time in a long time. And I just felt very convicted about not really living authentically for God; it's so easy to just get caught up in the motions, saying the right things, doing the right thing, but not really meaning it...
Needless to say, I started tearing up during one of the songs. I thought to myself "Keep it together! Don't cry in front of all these people! You can cry in the comfort and solidarity of your room tonight." But then we got into small groups to pray. I took my girls to the side and started the prayer. All I could get out was three words: "God, you're amazing." And then the floodgates opened. I just stood there and cried for a good 30 seconds. I can't remember the last time I cried so much in a public place. Oh, but it was a good cry. I needed it. Being able to just completely let go, take down all the barriers, and just live in the moment with all emotions out in the open was amazing. So I choked out the rest of my prayer and listened to the other girls. And then we sang some more...and I cried some more. I had forgotten how important it is to just sit and listen sometimes. I'm a music major, which is both a blessing and a curse. I can get so caught up in the musical aspect and technicality of things that I forget what I'm really there for. But that night I sat...I listened...I soaked it all in...and it was great.
Whew! That was a lot of typing! But I really wanted to share it all; not just for me to remember later, but for anyone who reads this too, as a reminder to LET GO and let God reveal himself. Stop making the relationship a routine. Be willing to just stop and listen.
Anyway, to sum things up, this weekend was awesome. There wasn't a lot of drama between all of the students. The college group did awesome leading the small group discussions. Scottie and Kevin did an awesome job putting all the technical stuff together. The host homes and food were amazing. It was just overall a great success! Possibly the best D-Now I've been to.
And now I'm off to bed. Hope everyone's had a good week! Hopefully I'll be able to get into more of a routine in the near future. Until next time!
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